- a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
- there are handicap parking places in front of a skating ring.
- drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
- people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
- the bank leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
- they leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put other useless junk in the garage.
- they use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
- they buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
- they use the word “politics” to describe the process so well. ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.
- they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Whatever, It’s still the greatest country in the world…